Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Blame it on the Inversion

There's a new scapegoat in town!

One of my coworkers was home sick today.
Because of the inversion, of course.
You know, all the pollutants in the air and whatnot.

Another coworker was late to work yesterday.
All because of the dense fog. Caused by cold temperatures mixing with smog. From the inversion.

Today I read two articles:

1.Trapped Clouds and Hidden Sun cause Anticyclonic Gloom
(from a London newspaper)
[Summary: Are you depressed lately? It's because of the inversion.]

2. Jets in the Living Room? Blame Inversion
"Inversions act . . . as a sort of reflective ceiling off which low frequency sound waves can bounce" thus trapping and amplifying noises from, for example, loud cars.
(from the University of Alaska Fairbanks)
[Summary: Are you suffering from headaches, overly sensitive hearing, or edgy temperament due to loud noises? That's because of the inversion.]

Have you seen a mirage lately? The inversion. Picked up more FM radio stations than normal? Another effect of the inversion.

Anyway, since it seems like everybody I know is blaming everything on the inversion lately, I figure I might as well jump on that bandwagon.

So today I told a joke that everybody laughed at because of the inversion. Yesterday I ate some ice cream because of the inversion. I was speeding to work, but if I got pulled over I knew the officer would understand that it was because of the inversion. The stock market took a huge dive yesterday because of the inversion, but today it shot back up due to the inversion.

And I wrote another blog entry.

Because of the inversion.

7 comments:

Karen said...

I really did have a bad headache today. Do you think it was because of the inversion???

Ry said...

Of course it was, Karen! Your headache could have been due to:
* the high pressure (inversion)
*an infection from a bug in the polluted / contaminated air (inversion)
* a cold from the incessant low temperature (inversion)
* or lastly, there's a good chance the inversion actually whacked you in the back of the head while you were sleeping.

bryant-man said...

Boy, I thought I was coming down with a cold, too, but now I know that I feel this way because of the inversion. I even thought about calling in sick to work, but I thought I shouldn't. I wish I'd known this morning that I could have called in because of the inversion.

bryant-man said...

Also I had ergonausem. I thought that dequemium, but then I jabberjobbed to the superjones to remefidelitize the internoose. Now I know yulesianly.

Sorry that didn't make any sense. I would have made more sense if it hadn't been for the inversion.

Andrew J Davis said...

Hey Ryan -- if my daughter didn't sleep well last night, can I blame it on the inversion (even if we're in different states)? I know the *inversion* has a long arm...

Emily & Garrett said...

Ryan,
Hey congrats on getting hitched. I haven't seen you in forever, and happened upon your blog. Hope all is well. Good to see you're focusing on the good things in life. :)
--Emily *Holmes* Laws

Ry said...

Hi Emily! Good to hear from you. Unfortunately, I can't seem to reply to you, because I'm "Forbidden" from seeing your blog. Hey, I thought we were friends!?! Then I tried finding you on Facebook, but to no avail.
So much for the age of communication . . .